I’m a person who has Asperger’s syndrome (I do not use the term sufferer as I wouldn’t want to be different)
Most people are surprised when I say I’m an Aspie. My job (I’m a software consultant and often work in sales environments) demands that I meet and talk to new people. I’m also generally social, quite friendly and I’ve also been a good listener for friends who have problems.
So how did I get here?
I guess the first the thing is that it’s often not easy. If I’m tired, stressed or uncertain then being social is very hard. My wife can find it very frustrating sometimes.
The second thing is that Autism Spectrum Disorder does not define us. We are all individuals and handle the world each in own way. The comments I am making are specific to me.
However I think in my particular case there are three specific things that may have contributed to my ability to cope with world as an adult
1) My mother encouraged me to read fiction books, most of my choices where not very good quality as I choose science fiction and cheap adventure stories. Nonetheless I think it gave access to the idea that other people have feelings and ideas in the head different to my own
2) When I was eighteen I meet and became very close friends with a group of women my own age and through them I practiced social interaction with a widening group of people and was introduced to to social issues such as feminism, racism and socialism — this made me think about people and society. They were not the only people or experiences in my life but it was certainly an intense time and a lot of my values come from that time.
3) My first job was in pre-sales, which forced me to spend time and talk to people I would never have normally meet. Since then I have had very few jobs that have put me in the back room not having to talk people — even though I am very technical I was, and am. expected to spend a lot of ‘face time’ with people.
I guess the message is that getting older, experience and training allows us to change, learn habits and techniques that make working and living a rewarding experience. I am now married with two children and I’m well regarded by my colleagues. Life is not perfect, but then life is never perfect and I value my special perspective.
Glad to be Aspie!
